


Corolla Delirium

by hyuninns



Category: NINE PERCENT (Band), 乐华七子NEXT | NEX7
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Cussing, Fluff and Angst, Hanahaki Disease, Humiliation, M/M, Malnutrition, Mild Smut, Multi, Near Death Experiences, Starvation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-09-27 19:43:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17168180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyuninns/pseuds/hyuninns
Summary: "Justin, are you fine?""Yep, Chengcheng. Why do you ask?""U-Uh, it's pretty obvious that you've been running back and forth to the bathroom often.""I'm just not feeling well lately."Justin becomes agonizingly apprehensive that Chengcheng doesn't feel the same way about him, when he starts to throw up pink petals.





	1. Chapter 1

Justin thumps his torso with his clenched fist as he was trying hard to throw up the petals that have been jammed in his throat. moonless spots are forming to deteriorate the brims of his foresight. But, he manages to impel the petals out of his throat and towards the lavatory in front of him.

After some time, droplets of water were hollowing his eyes like a cacti spike. His throat feels croaky and rusty but, he is willing to face it, if it means, feeling the love and admiration that he perpetually has for Chengcheng.

He is aware that his reason may appear imprecise but, he can't even bring himself to even deliberate a surgery to exterminate the irksome petals. Even if it cost him — his life. That would mean — obliterating Chengcheng and losing the love of his life that he's been head over heels for. And he thinks that he'd prefer to pass away than, have that to happen.

He doesn't think that he would be the same old Justin if he couldn't feel the butterflies in his stomach or he doesn't feel his heart rapidly beating for Chengcheng anymore. And he undeniably doesn't want to lose the person, who his disease has been lamentably cursed with.

"Justin, are you doing fine in there?" A sound called out. Justin immediately apprehended the dithery tone that Zhengting uses often. Justin hastily flushes the lavatory as watches the petals drown away with an afflictive throat.

"Yep, I'm good." He answers and hastily cleanse his hands to remove the leftover pink tint of petals. He has lied to his friends heap of times that it's not as difficult to fool them. It forms guilelessly and he feels atrocious about it.

How are they supposed to favourably work as a group, when one of the fellows can't even tell his comrades, the verity? Justin wiped his hands arid on his trousers before coming out. "I apologise for taking so long."

"Hah! It's nothing." Zhengting assures while taking a glimpse into his bathroom. Fortunately, Zhengting doesn't spot anything out of the ordinary, he focuses his gaze on Justin and spotted fragments of disquietude in his eyes. "It's just the right time for breakfast!"

Justin avoids eating food because petals would come up to his gullet while he's quaffing his meal, which results in an unpleasant heave that almost turns his face reddish pink before he can run to the bathroom.

Even with the heavy stones weighing on his shoulders, he manages to plaster a fake smile, which he is guilty of doing it often now and then. He passes by Zhengting and tries his best to overpass the agita portrayed clear as the skies that was expressed on the elder's face as he steps into the huge kitchen.

When he enters the room, the others have already begun to feast and are chatting amongst themselves. Wenjun's talking to Zeren about a sing he wrote last night with a burst of innovation. Xinchun's quick to drag Zhengting to his side and talk about a Chinese artist, who's touring in their region and how they just need to snatch the tickets.

Of course, Chengcheng is talking to Quanzhe and their wide smiles were visible across their face. They pat and gently poke at each other as they, both, laugh at what Chengcheng said. And Justin can't help but, feel an awful ache in his chest.

With a hefty and a pang heart, he seats himself on the chair next to Wenjun and opposite of Chengcheng, who hasn't even paid any attention to him. He picks up a scallion pancake from the pile and pours a bit of the maple syrup with a tiny block of butter on the top. He picked up his chopsticks and stabbed it, rather than cutting it and taking a piece and, lifted it up near his mouth.

Wenjun, who was in a deep conversation with Zeren, observed Justin's actions and looks at him with an aberrant expression. Wenjun jerks his head a bit towards Justin's side and asks, "Why aren't you eating the pancakes?"

The immediate question affright Justin and tries his best to avoid the glares that he got from the entire group, when he hits his lower calf on the curve of the table. Chengcheng worriedly stared at him, in particular. He felt his cheeks flush red even though, there isn't to be bashful about since, he's been with the group for quite a long time. And his voice got quieter than normal, whenever he answers.

"I-I'm just not really h-hungry." He stuttered — biting the flesh of his lower lip. His voice still sounds a bit bruised from the quantum of petals that he had to throw up earlier. But, it's not worse enough to bring up more questions.

"You need to eat, especially during your growing period. Justin, you're better than this." Zeren interrupts — his abysmal voice made Justin lay back. He has no notion as to why he's been feigning like an outsider since, he befriended the group. But, he can't keep it in. The air feels stuffy and he can feel his skin shivering.

"I'm aware of that. I vow that my appetite's fine and I'm growing well." He replies — his eyes were gazing down at the glossy glass of the table before continuing, "But, I just don't feel too good today. I had a minor dilemma when I woke up, so, I don't feel like eating."

Justin felt pentenice flowing deep in his bones as he told the lies. In actual, he didn't face a minor dilemma when he woke up because he didn't sleep and he was a starving beast at this point. He can't even bring himself to eat in the same hall as Chengcheng. He can't seem to do anything at this point.

"Be more careful, okay?" Quanzhe's soft voice erupted from across the table. Justin couldn't look up at Quanzhe — knowing that he would look down again if he made an eye contact with him.

"Yeah, just what Quanzhe said." Chengcheng awkwardly followed. Justin hoped that he didn't catch the fluttering shiver that was optically running up his chine. He acknowledgedley nodded — secretly peeking at Zhengting, who had worry written all over his face. Soon, the conversation went back to normal.


	2. 2

[LATER THAT DAY]  
-

Justin's mind starts to evaluate every connection that has to do with Chengcheng. He feels a little pain in his heart when Chengcheng only chimed in because Quanzhe, his favorite and an irresistible future partner, encouraged him to do so. But, not because he was worried for Justin. His brain then, goes onto list his imperfections and compares it to Quanzhe like, Quanzhe is the main topic and Justin is the sub-topic.

It only gets awful when he glances at Chengcheng putting his hands in Quanzhe's and their voices grow booming and more booming as the voices haze him. And that's when he feels the suffocation in his upper chest and the petals start to make their way up to his gullet.

He murmers a quick sorry and immediately runs off into the bathroom and locks it. He turns on the handle of the basin to cover up the sound of him throwing up a bouquet of petals into the lavatory and then, flushes the toilet and thanks the heavens above him that it was simpler to throw up this moment but, it was unfortunate that he had to throw up every now and then.

He proceeds to sit on top of the lavatory and takes deep breaths. He needs to calm the fuck down and get his shit together. He can't just randomly start throwing up petals on the stage. He tried to avoid from doing it but, it's completely unknown when those petals would show up in this throat.

He had literally threw up half an hour before, so, it was impossible to keep track of the future ones. I mean, it can suddenly happen at a fan meet, a variety show, during a performance or at public interviews. Justin thought that having the hanahaki disease as an artist brought him many cataclysm and possible catastrophe. So, he knows that he has to be extra careful this time.

Hanahaki disease is an illness that is caused by an imminent love. The only symptom that you have to suffer is throwing up different colored petals. The coloration varies on the person. It starts out small and slow but, as the time progresses, it comes out big and fast and causes suffocation, in which, it causes your death.

The only surgical treatment is to either get your crush to magically love you or get a removal procedure, which will get you rid of your illness but, you also get you rid of all your feelings and thoughtful memories of your crush.

Justin wasn't shocked when he started to throw up petals, it was bound to happen. He knew that he would get cursed by the illness but, it still doesn't make his pain any less worse. Its roots keep digging deeper in his heart and its stems and leaves wrap around his lungs — growing and blossoming new petals everyday.

It's was all matter of time before he passes away and he would rather die than stop loving Chengcheng. After a while, he comes out of the bathroom and heads into the living room.

Most of them were sitting on the couch and the others were on the floor as they insert a movie's disc in the movie player. Xinchun spots Justin and hovers him over to him.

"You almost missed the opening! I bet you forgot that it's movie marathon today. Come here and sit with me." Xinchun scolds him — gently patting him on his back. For once, Justin genuinely smiles and squeezes himself under Xinchun's arms. He can't seem to distract himself but, notice Chengcheng's and Quanzhe's disappearance. "By any chance, where's Chengcheng and Quanzhe?" Justin asked.

"U-Uh, I don't actually know. I remember that after breakfast, they were gossiping and cackling to each other — in their rooms. I don't even want to know what the fuck they were doing after that." Xinchun mockingly chuckled and shivered at the thought of them doing anything beyond that.

Justin feels a pool of covetousness in his stomach and his heart starts cracking as the roots move their way in deeper in his organs. His smile scruples but, Xinchun doesn't seem to notice. He soon puts his shit together and softly chuckles — guilty and slightly ashamed of how credible it sounds.

"Uh, yeah. Let's not think about anything like that. Not when Finding Dory is about to begin." He says — fixing his eyes on the TV. He focuses solely on the screen — channeling out the chit chat and barely plastering a grin. It's the only way that he could stop thinking about God knows what Chengcheng and Quanzhe were doing. He doesn't want the petals to start forming in his throat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a small chapter and the next one is even smaller because the chapters were originally supposed to protray in one day but it exceeded the word limit on my notepad, so, I divided in three parts. ;-;  
> Thank you for taking your time to read this, it really means a lot. :)  
> Follow me on Instagram and Twitter at @notyourhangel and we may become friends! <3


	3. 3

[LATER THAT NIGHT]  
-

After watching Finding Dory and the other 5 movies, which were Fantastic Beasts, Aquaman, Avengers Infinity War, Venom and, Deadpool. All were recommended by each member and there was even more on the list.

As Xinchun was putting in Incredibles 2's disc in the movie player, Quanzhe and Chengcheng entered the living room with their hands intertwined together. And mumbling lovey dovey things to each other.

Zhengting gives them a whole ass lecture for missing out on half of the movie marathon. In the end, he gently smacks them on the back with a cheery smile because he couldn't bear to miss the movie.

Justin doesn't even dare to look at them and instead focuses on Xinchun, who's still putting in the disc in the movie player. Xinchun insisted on putting it because he haven't seen the movie yet. And everyone gave up and let Xinchun do whatever he wants.

Nonetheless, Justin doesn't ignore the blemishes that portray on both of their necks in tones of dark lilac, ruby and beryl mixed together as they sat down in front of him. Their hands were still intertwined and didn't give a fuck about anyone.

He can feel the petals starting to floruit around his lungs but, he struggles to stop them while deeply inhaling to block the flow of oxygen. When his lungs finally stopped blossoming with giant pinkish flowers, he continued to breathe. He kept his eyes fixated on the TV screen than on the flagrantly grinning lovebirds in front of him 

"U-Uh, are you fine?" Xinchun whispered into Justin's ears. Justin knew Xinchun was going to ask something, so, he wasn't surprised this time.

"Y-Yeah, I'm fine. Just a bit tired." Justin fabled. The aftertaste of the words were contemptuous on his tongue.

"If that's the case then, go to sleep." Xinchun said as he looked around for a way to let Justin out.

"U-Uh, I don't think Zhengting will let anyone move from here so-" Xinchun continued.

"So, what?" Justin asked.

"So, you'll have to sleep here." Xinchun added.

"Ugh." Justin annoyingly huffed.

"I know and I doubt you could make it through the whole marathon since, we have several other movies to watch." Xinchun stated. Justin could sense the happiness in him as he spoke.

Xinchun's warm hands grasped Justin's broad shoulders and pulled him onto his side. His head was cuddling into Xinchun's tender arms. He doesn't try to budge.

Justin was mentally and physically drained since, the start of the week. And Justin feels like he'll be torn apart in pieces if he has to knowingly breathe the same air as the lovebirds in front of him.

Justin gives Zeren, who observed the whole situation from his side and sat besides Wenjun on the floor, an inquiring look as if he was asking his permission to sleep on his boyfriend's arms. As he gets a consoling grin and a slight nod for confirmation, he carelessly falls asleep soon.

He feels grateful that he didn't wake up when Zhengting was scolding Quanzhe and Chengcheng for portraying affection to each other during the movie marathon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short and late update. :( but, i really hope y'all liked it. i've been busy with school so i won't be updating as soon but, i'll try to! :)  
> follow me on instagram and twitter at @notyourhangel and we may become friends. <3  
> have a nice day/night


	4. 4

Third Person Narrative  
-

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━  
[THE NEXT DAY]  
-

Hours later, Justin wakes up on the same spot on the sofa and was laying in an awkward twisted position. None was in the hall, which meant that everyone left while he was sleeping. The TV was off and the curtains were drawn in, which left him in dusk. The only source of light was the lamp on the coffee table, which made the room feel calm and uncanny.

Justin rumbles through his trouser's pockets for his phone and pulls it out and flinches as he turns on the phone's screen to check the time. After some while, his vision adjusts to the phone's screen and he could finally see the time.

12:30AM.

Justin annoyingly sighs and got up to straighten his posture. His neck feels tense and his spine continues to throb. It was completely an uncomfortable situation. He bends and stretches his body as he heard a few cracks and his body simmers down. Then, he proceeds to twist his tensed neck left and then, to the right until he feels a sense of relief.

Justin manages to stand up with some efforts, his body feels a sense of effete and exhaustion even after he slept for some hours. He thinks that it was because he didn't eat anything in breakfast and then, slept through the whole movie marathon. His stomach grumbles and begins to pain, which proved his point.

He tardily walks into the huge kitchen and got surprised at the light emitting from the refrigerator. Chengcheng's back was turned away from Justin as he pours himself a glass of juice from the refrigerator. 

With his heart rapidly beating at every second and a mind that was malfunctioning from uttering a word, Justin simply stands there until Chengcheng finishes pouring juice in his glass. Chengcheng turns around and looks at Justin's feet and moves on up until his eyes stops at his eyes.

Chengcheng startles at Justin's presence and nearly chokes on the juice and almost drops the glass of juice that he was drinking. Chengcheng sets the glass aside on the counter and coughs his lungs out.

Justin suddenly runs over to Chengcheng's side and turns on the roof light of the kiln and gently smacks Chengcheng's back. The huge kitchen was filled with Chengcheng's non-stop coughs and Justin's hands smacking his back.

"A-Are you f-fine?" Justin stutteringly asks — still smacking Chengcheng's back as his voice was grasping for air.

"Y-Yeah, thanks a l-lot." Chengcheng stutters but, still manages to utter a word — giving Justin a gentle smile.

Justin starts to feel his bellows agonizingly compress as the petals begin to grow in his respiratory system. He forces himself to hold his breath until the petal stops growing and gets stupefied by Chengcheng's cheeky smile.

He absolutely loathes the way Chengcheng has this much grip and impact on his life and his mental and physical emotions without Chengcheng knowing about Justin's feelings.

"Why are y-you up so l-late?" Justin asks in an attempt to distract the awkward silence even though, he knows why Chengcheng was up.

"U-Uh..." Justin stutters. His voice sounded a bit sprained as he was trying his best to suppress the petals in his gullet.

Chengcheng croons as he leans himself backwards on the kitchen counter behind him. He glances and motions at the half-filled glass of juice that he choked on earlier.

"O-Oh, I couldn't sleep so, I came down to the kitchen to help myself with a glass of juice until I got startled by your presence and choked on it." Chengcheng explains.

Despite knowing that Chengcheng was trolling, Justin immediately feels bad and murmurs small "sorry" here and there. It was something that he didn't do before he realized his feelings for Chengcheng.

Before all of this, Justin would be his happy self and joke around with Chengcheng and saying things along the lines of, "It's okay!" and "You don't have to apologize." But, he can't say anything like that anymore. Times have changed. Justin has changed.

"I apologize, I didn't mean to." Justin mumbles while he nimbles on his lower lip.

Chengcheng gave him a bamboozled look but, he soon, changes his facial expression and caresses the top of Justin's hair and gives him a cheeky grin.

"Oh, I-I was just trolling, you don't have to feel guilty." Chengcheng assures him — shuffling Justin's hair and making it messy.

Justin blushes while taking Chengcheng's hand off of his head as his tip of the ears and his cheeks flushes hues of red.

"O-Okay, I won't do that again." Justin blushingly says.

"Aw, don't make me feel like shit." Chengcheng assures — the cheeky grin never leaving his face.

Justin was still having a hard time at constricting the petals from growing and filling up to his throat. But, this time, his chest was feeling lighter than usual.

Maybe, it's because there's not lovey-dovey affections going on between Quanzhe and Chengcheng or maybe, he's a professional at concealing his disease.

"Who am I kidding?" Justin thinks. It is obviously because of Quanzhe's absence.

Justin broods and partially turns away because he is pretending to be upset at Chengcheng but, it's mostly because he's abashed at how the older was treating him.

"Justin~" Chengcheng whines, his voice was somehow slightly raspy.

"I was just trolling~" Chengcheng continues to whine.

"Okay, okay, I know." Justin turns around at him and smiles at him as his eyes turned into half-moons.

Both, Justin and Chengcheng, had a lengthy conversation throughout the whole midnight. Absolutely nothing, anything and, everything was a part of their conversations.

Chengcheng unknowingly talks about Quanzhe once or twice but, Justin hastily diverts his attention of conversation to something else before the petals escapes his lips.

Without a doubt, Justin and Chengcheng end up staying up the whole night. They were cracking jokes and reminiscing their memories. Justin felt better until Quanzhe confessed and won Chengcheng's heart.

Justin notices that he misses being so carefree and open-minded with Chengcheng with no borders or lines to cross. He feels so much better that he can spend his time with Chengcheng that he forgot about being hungry — the only reason he came in the kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on Instagram and Twitter at @hanlistic and we may become friends! <3


	5. 5

Third Person Narrative  
-  
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━  
[THE NEXT DAY]  
-

The sun rises and everyone except, Zeren, begins to wake up. Justin knows that that his time with Chengcheng was over and Quanzhe will soon be under his arms and giving small pecks. Justin loathes it but, he has to deal with it.

"Good morning." Quanzhe softy murmurs as he stumbles in the huge kitchen.

Quanzhe's voice is croaky and a bit of hoarse. It is no surprise since, Quanzhe showers Chengcheng with small kisses — making the latter burst into a fit of chuckles before kissing him back.

Justin can feel his stomach twisting and his chest is blazing with envy. The petals were blossoming around his heart, their roots were grasping through his lungs. He halts his breath so, he doesn't have to go the bathroom.

"Yuck, guys. Not so early in the morning and we're not in Twilight." Xinchun says as he yawns and scrunches his nose at the current scene.

The lovebirds cackle and tease Xinchun. They untertwine themselves from each other and leave just enough space in which, Justin can breathe. He feels the petals slowly fading as they pull away from each other.

The others join in soon and Zeren, too. Zhengting starts to cook after he greeted everyone. Quanzhe stealthily sneaks in an apple behind Zhengting. If Justin wasn't in such a pain, he would've burst out laughing but, he just stays silence these days.

Justin doesn't ignore the worried glances that Zeren and Xinchun gave him in a while or so. And how Wenjun fails to include Justin in their conversations and instead, focuses on Chengcheng, who is playing a mobile game.

Justin just watches the expressions on Chengcheng's face as he plays the game on his mobile. Until, Quanzhe comes over and put a plate with stacks of pancake on the table which cause Justin to stop looking at Chengcheng.

Everyone settles and each have a stack of two pancakes with maple syrup on their plate. Justin sits before the two lovebirds that are feeding each other. The only difference is that Justin almost made it through without coughing up petals.

They finish eating and clean the dishes together so, it takes little time and then, they were off to the dance studio. They've decided to choreograph a dance for "For You" as a fan benefit. In fact, they are also practising for their tour.

Justin was lucky to make it through the practice without throwing up petals that were literally up his throats. But, at some point, there must come calamity.

Half way through the practice, Justin couldn't stop ignoring Chengcheng and Quanzhe sneaking kisses here and there. Cheeky smiles are stuck on their face, twisting Justin's heart.

The petals nearly overfill his lungs as a rush of jealousy hits him hard when they say the three words, tears brimming Justin's eyes as his mouth is filled with the petals.

Justin speedily gets up from the place, where he laid his head on Zhengting's lap. He hastily slams his both hands, so as to stop the petals from spilling or overfilling.

The others became confused as they see him running to the bathroom, without a word. He couldn't care about them right now, he just want to make it to the bathroom before it spills.

He barely closes the bathroom's door as the petals fall from his mouth on the floor. He couldn't even make it to the lavatory. He can feel agony eating him and taking lump of bliss out of him.

The petals don't stop until he's on his knees, tear flowing down his face as he chokes on a lump in his throat. And sickness overtakes him as he wipes his tears

Soon, he found that the pink petals were decorating the bathroom's floor. He feels bad and miserable as he lays on the floor. The floor creates a crestfallen excuse of a patio.

Justin takes a minute to regain his posture and curls up into a ball and rocking back and forth with his head between his knees. His throat feels croaky and and his heart hurt every time he took a breath.

He feels awful and terrible at himself for not being under control. He's afraid of the questions that'll be asked from his members and he can't even bring himself to answer the worried looks an he loathes it when they worry about him.

Somehow, more than he loathes himself.

Justin stays curled up in a ball for a few more minutes before he gathers the fallen petals and dumps them in the lavatory before flushing it. Then, he unlocks the lavatory to the sink.

Justin looks in the mirror as he cleans his hands, he notices that his face is gloomy, not the type when he was spending his time with Chengcheng.

His eyes are now puffy that were twinkling and glittering. His face his tired and his lips look wounded from how he bit them while, trying to control himself.

He looked dead as he thought.

He doesn't have an idea about how the rest will react when they see him. They are already worried about him since, he's been tired and always spends time in the bathroom, from time to time.

But, now, his appearance has caught up with them. They're already so stressed from writing lyrics, producing songs, choreographing and their busy routines.

Justin doesn't want to be a burden. Especially, when he brought the disease onto himself. Not too soon, he knew Chengcheng and Quanzhe were going to be a couple. He deserves everything he is getting.

He cleans his face as it'll fade his gloominess and the dried tears. It only clears his makeup, wounds and blemishes. He finishes and turns the faucet off after several minutes of fixing it. And he stares at his face.

"You're so dismal over acting this over someone who doesn't care about you or love you. Control yourself" The voice in his head gets to him and Justin cackles.

"I wish, I really do wish." Justin mumbles.

He steps back from the sink as he straightens his posture and his now ruined clothes as he wipes his hands, face and mouth with plenty of tissues.  
He heads back to the practice room, scared of the rest's expression.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on Instagram and Twitter at @hyuninns and we may become friends! <3


	6. 6

Third Person Narrative  
-

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━  
[LATER THAT DAY]  
-

Justin returns to the dance studio. He expected his members to rush to him and engulf him in questions. He expected them to hug him and tell him that it's okay. But, none of that happened.

They were still practicing like nothing happened. The dance studio used to be so loud and charismatic but, now, it's just the sound of shoes sweeping and hitting the wooden floor.

Justin awkwardly sweeps in and everyone looks at him like he's made out of feathers or a glass substance that could shatter in pieces with a single touch. Zhengting speaks up first.

"We need to ask something and we're totally not forcing you to tell us, if you don't want to." Zhengting slowly states as if Justin is going to collapse into a fit of cries.

"O-Okay." Justin says as he nods while, he hands are drenched in sweat. He slightly shudders and hopes that they don't see it. His brain processes as plenty of scenarios play in his mind.

What if they find out? What if everyone finds out that he has the disease? Even worse, what if they find out that he is in love Chengcheng? What if Chengcheng doesn't speak to him anymore?

His thoughts get interrupted as Zhengting begins to speak. "We understand that it's easy to get devastated with our tight schedules but, don't get too stressed. Alright?"

"O-Oh, I'm so s-sorry! I d-didn't mean anything l-like that-" Justin hesitantly rants and stops when he tried to take in the older's words.

"H-Huh?" Justin confusedly mumbles. Zhengting huffs and before Zhengting spoke again, Wenjun interrupts.

"We don't like you being stressed out. It's not necessary to practice until you are fully drained." Wenjun concernedly said.

"They think I'm stressed. The irony." Justin thinks. He is happy that his secret isn't out yet but, he doesn't like how they jump to conclusions and Wenjun, the most sensible was oblivious.

"U-Uh, sorry. I'll let y'all know whenever I'm stressed." Justin says as his knees wobble a little and is safe from his secret.

"Don't feel too stressed. We know that you want everything to be perfect but, your health is important. Even I, who neglects sleep to write a song, know when to stop." Zeren sternly cuts in.

Xinchun holds onto Zeren's hand and Zeren smiles as Xinchun squeezes his hand. The moment between them caused Justin to internally smile.

"You always push yourself beyond limits. We just want to see you happy and healthy." Chengcheng butts in and for once, Justin's heart doesn't ache when he looks into the oldest's eyes.

There's sincere worry on everyone's face but, Justin sees it clearest on Chengcheng's face.

Justin nods and grins that causes everyone to relax. Their words didn't solve his problems. It didn't remove the petals in his lungs. It didn't make his heart pain any less but, it did make his stomach fuzzy.

"T-Thank you, everyone." Justin begun as his ears were tinted with hues of red.

"I'll t-try to take care of myself." He noiselessly mumbles.

It is not a complete lie nor a truth either. He can always try eat, even if his stomach isn't ready. He also, tries to enjoy himself more but, he can't stop loving Chengcheng. The reason why he is suffering.

As Justin stands in the middle of the dance studio, the petals are constantly threatening to fill his lungs and grasp his heart. He imitates the smile that everyone sincerely gave him.

All of them care, even Quanzhe and Chengcheng, who are the reason of his sorrow. There's no doubt about that. Every member would rather suffer with themselves than watch him suffer.

He's thankful for his members. They're the one in billion and he imagines them as his family. They have their own issues and immaturely fight like children but, the little bumps in their journey are no means of their destruction.

That's what he is thinking, anyways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on Instagram and Twitter at @hyuninns and we may become friends! ♥️

**Author's Note:**

> I hope y'all liked it!  
> Thank you for reading and taking your time to check out my fic! It really means a lot! <3  
> Follow me on Instagram and Twitter at @notyourhangel and we may become friends! :)  
> Updates will be every Wednesday.


End file.
